The Bands
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DB DC The term “Supergroup” is much maligned, and with good reason, as most of them are rubbish. DB DC are no exception. Five financial PR people who met through work and discovered a common interest in simple songs requiring as few chords as possible, they retain their “raw” sound largely by not rehearsing. Steely Dan they ain’t.
Ben Larter – Vocals Ben has been in at least 4 bands over the last 20 years, all of which are noted for their lack of success. His solo 2002 world tour, entitled “I’ve suffered for my music, now it’s your turn,” started at the Coach & Horses in Croydon and ended shortly after the 2nd chorus of the first song. He enjoys extreme tapestry and finds himself hilarious.
Nick Bone – Guitar It’s rumoured Nick can play guitar but no-one’s sure if it’s true or not yet. He likes big riffs and his proudest moment was learning more than three chords.
Richard Acworth – Guitar Rich mastered the guitar on a vintage Dunlop Maxply achieving acclaim for his rendition of Summer of 89. It was not until 2012 that he hung up his cat gut and invested in a six string for more than a 5 and dime. Dislikes inflation in most cases.
Robert Roessler – Ruthlessly efficient bass Robert was an internationally acclaimed free jazz harpist as a child. Luckily he forgot most of his skills since then and is now playing bass because it’s much easier to play than any other instrument.
Andy Fleming – Drums Andy once played drums for a band called Strange Fruit. Then he became a civil servant and they became Sleeper. He is very bitter. Likes halibut.
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Fidelius Mac - Michael Cox (Head of T&C) – Rhythm Gitaur- Michael tackles the role as front man like he does a t&c audit. Goes at it with the gusto of a man on a mission.
- Lewis Miller (Finance) – Drums – Lewis has played drums all his life it seems. A big Pearl Jam fan, he hits the skins hard and drives the back-line.
- James Biggs (Head of Employee Benefits) – Bass – Biggsy has rocked countless pubs and clubs over the years, with many “10 men and a dog” experiences. Has previously played Pensions Rocks at The 100 Club and likes to play loud and fast.
- Tim Lambert – (Head of our Capital Investment Division) – Rhythm Guitar. Tim has dusted off the axe for one more outing after a few years off the circuit. His former band once supported The Levellers in front of 3,000 fans, so this will be a walk in the park.
- Graeme ("G-Man") Howell - Singer. New to the band, Graeme is a pension consultant at Fidelius. His singing prowess has good pedigree, having previously toured Sweden in a 4-man A Capella group - "skol!"
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Decapitator Originally formed back in the seventies by their parents De-Capita-Tor members are a gathered smattering of pension folk who got too drunk and too involved to back out, and so a money and mouth situation was born. Dan Peroni wears Y fronts so we made him front man, in true rock n roll style he threw a tele out the window “I hated playing that fender anyway” he said “hand me my mic” he was last seen in a Kebab shop in Cheam. Pete “the vicar” is an amateur axe murderer, by that we mean he plays a fine tune on the six string, when and if he is ever in tune, he said “the last pension rocks was even better than the day I passed my cycling proficiency test”. His other hobbies include being a bloke from the 1970’s, get a new haircut Pete! Bobby “Carrot” is a slapper, but only on Bass, whilst learning the bass he got blisters from “moving his fingers up and down really fast”. Bobby is the best beard grower in the whole band and the man we all hope will one day fulfil his dream to be a goalpost for Everton. Sean “the cauldron” will be mixing it up on guitar Sean is not a child of the seventies and boy does it show, he is so young he does not remember “old top gear” with William Woolard. Kris “the Boogie” will be hitting you his rhythm sticks, Kris was deemed too tall so we made him sit down at the back behind cymbals also no-one else could be bothered to carry around a kit to rehearsal. Kris enjoys eating curry as it’s open late at night and once offered some of his chicken biryani to his wife, because he “loves her more than curry”. Hayley Cray was going to be an east end gangster but then discovered her name was spelt wrong, naturally the obvious way to get into the protection racket was to join the life and pension industry. Some years later she fell into a rehearsal room with some talk of singing although most of the time was spent wondering what class it was she missed in school that left her in a dark damp rehearsal room with four old giffers making noise.
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Towering Inferno Alison White – Vocals
Alison joined with relics from previous entrants ‘Funds N Roses’ to form a new band as a singer and rhythm guitarist. When it was agreed to enter the competition as a Rock band, given that she couldn’t shred (or strum) they put the call out for a lead guitarist and she decided to become a groupie... I mean vocalist. Despite being warned that it requires personality and will mean another self-deprecating bio. She thinks she’s hit the jackpot with Towering Inferno musicians…and the drummer’s pretty good too! Just don’t ask her to house sit. She won’t find the right key, and she’ll never know when to come in.
David Holdstock - Guitar
After being brought up on the guitar legends of the 60’s and 70’s it was no surprise David decided to take up the six string. Forming his first band and playing his first gig at the age of 15 he began a 10 year long relationship with music that took him from Lancaster to Brighton and Canterbury to Welshpool. Several bands and countless broken guitar strings later, David heard the call of the Towering Inferno and decided that it was time for another shot at the top. David’s style is a mix of frantic fretwork and meaty power chords, his amps go up to eleven!!!!
Hitesh Vaghela – Guitar and Keyboard
Hitesh “Keytar” Vaghela is a legendary rock pianist and mediocre guitarist. Some say he got his virtuoso rock skills from a mysterious mage called Rockmaninoff and his mis-spent youth playing too much Guitar Hero. Others say it was probably down to the hours of practise and that band he was in at school. Also on a personal note, he doesn’t own a keytar.
Nick Savage – Bass
A classically-trained violinist, teenage Nick decided to teach himself the bass because Flea from Red Hot Chili Peppers had blue hair at the time and he thought it was really cool. His playing improved rapidly once he discovered that a guitar is hung over one’s shoulder rather than held under the chin, but despite several sell-out gigs in his bedroom he never made it big and reluctantly hung up his guitar/forgot where it was. Nick still went on to lead a rock’n’roll lifestyle anyway, doing a maths degree and becoming an actuary; then, when Towering Inferno put out the call for a bass player and told him he’d definitely get into the band because they had literally no other candidates, he knew what he had to do… Nick’s hero is Gary Barlow and his favourite Beatles album is probably ‘The Best of the Beatles’.
Jonathan Oliver – Drums
Jon “CozyVanBonham” Oliver’s rock career reads like a who’s that of Rock ‘n’ Roll. Who could forget the lean and tasty Rat Salad (however hard they try)? Or the rambunctious Rambunctious? What about STC whose two year career was said by many to be two years too long? And of course Toast, who were famously paid 50 quid by a Southampton pub to never return. Talk about value for money. Finally, after spending 10 years learning to count with the finest minds in the pensions industry, Jon is back on the throne. Now he is sure he can get from 1 to 4. In the right order. Without stopping. Don’t miss it.
