mallowstreet Rocks: Start Me Up

Bands

• A J Rebellion
  After winning hands-down the prestigious “Best opening act on the second night of Pensions Rocks III” award, A J Rebellion went on to release 3 Granny Award winning albums, praised by critics and public alike. The prog-rock “Commuted Pensions in the year 2525”, the melancholic “SAGA of Old Age” and the hard rocker “Unsecure my Pension” went on to sell literally lots and lots of copies, loads, believe me! The band are now ready to show the pensions industry that rock will never die so there’s no point analysing it and preparing a mortality table so as to calculate its life expectancy. No point at all. Born on the same day as Quincy Jones, and winner of a prestigious talent contest at the tender age of 12, Philippa was always destined to be legendary! Her motto is “Live by day and rock out at night”. With a Rebel Yell as the sun goes down, she is Born to be Wild. Born in small town USA, Craig was soon entertaining the whole town and its surrounding area, with as many as 50 people turning up to some of his outdoor performances. Fuelled by adrenaline (an illegal drug 20 years ago), and a vague belief that Jimi Hendrix was still performing in London clubs, Craig crossed the Atlantic to the UK to further his music career and now regularly entertains crowds of sometimes as many as 75 beer guzzlers at his local in Ormskirk. As part of an ongoing quest to find the instrument that will provide the key to success, Steve will be equipped with one less string than last year, but will compensate with imported pickups, go-faster stripes and a turbo-boost switch that provides an instant increase in volume, tone and talent. Perhaps these additions to Steve's arsenal will be what he needs to help him finally achieve the long-hoped-for impact on the UK rock scene that has eluded him until now... Bernard is still seeking a use for that elusive note between B and C and spends his spare time carving and fitting additional frets into the neck of his bass guitar. Why must scales stop at G and then start again? Why is doe a deer but ray a drop of golden sun? Only once he has answered these questions will Bernard feel that he can truly relate to his instrument and that the skeletons in the cupboard are out of the frying pan and into the fire. Steve’s musical career began at an early age with his unforgettable rendition of alternative lyrics to Gary Numan’s “Cars” to a stunned school assembly. Abandoning any vocal ambitions, the teenage Steve joined the seminal 80s garden shed band The Moist Towelettes on drums. Frustrated by the Towelettes policy of never playing where anyone might hear them, Steve moved into session work and his drumming skills contributed significantly to the decision of several bands to move in an acapella direction. Notably, his work can be appreciated in the number one hits “Only You” by The Flying Pickets and “Caravan of Love” by The Housemartins.
• The Above Average Weight Band
  The Above Average Weight Band - Unashamedly a crowd pleasing Rock ‘n’ Roll/Blues band, these 5 ‘rock chucks’ set out to ensure their audience get the chance to sing along, clap along, dance and generally become part of the entertainment. A relentless mix of old and new, from the Stones, Beatles, Joe Cocker, all the way through to the Commitments, The Faces, Bad Company; with Oasis, The Jam and Snow Patrol covers to please the post baby boom crew. The Group, representing the NAPF City & Eastern Group, formed just over a year ago in order for 5 seasoned industry veterans to relive past glories. Comprising Ian Gault on drums, Paul Wilson on bass, Dick Strattan on keyboards and rhythm guitar, Mike Patti on lead guitar and Terry O’Malley on vocals – you’ll recognise every song and their aim is to make you part of the band.
• DE-CAPITA-TOR
  Originally formed back in the seventies by their parents DeCapitated members are a gathered smattering of pension folk who got too drunk and too involved to back out, and so a money and mouth situation was born. Dan McCann the pension man is the front man wielding a mighty claim that he will sing. Singer is also his favourite brand given his hobby and ambition to become an international seamstress. Peter Vickers is an amateur axe murderer, by that we mean he plays a fine tune on the six string, when and if he is ever in tune, known to occasionally noodle whilst other people are trying to talk. His other hobbies include cabbage farming and building things for his children with a 1970’s health and safety manual. Bobby Riddaway is an enthusiastic maestro in building teams, learning songs and blowing his own trumpet – oops playing the Bass. He also plants and grows cabbages – as long as the seventies band Lieutenant Pigeon leaves them alone. Andrew Drake was going to be the drummer but then sold his drum kit, having recently married he dare not broach the subject of buying another as his new wife insists “no more banging” so instead agreed to borrow a guitar and provide a solid rhythm that way. Finally Kris Buglear “the Boogie” will be hitting you his rhythm sticks, Kris was deemed too tall so we made him sit down at the back behind cymbals also no-one else could be bothered to carry around a kit to rehearsal. Kris enjoys eating curry as it’s open late at night.
• Run GMP
  Guitarist Neil Copeland has described Spence & Partners’ Run GMP as “the best band I’ve ever played in”, though his claim to have played all the hard bits for his mate Eddie on Van Halen’s debut album should be treated with a degree of caution. Ian “Slowhand” Shand has never looked back since the Lady of the Loch presented him with the legendary Axe-caliber. Ian’s non musical hobbies include otter wrestling and full contact macramé. Drummer “the Reverend” Aaron Copeland’s credo is that the path to salvation lies through playing heavy metal music turned up to eleven, drinking copious amounts of cider, and getting really high scores on Gears of War. On bass (the guitar not the beer) we have “Squadron Leader” Mike Selby - quite how Spence & Partners acquired Mike’s remains and managed to reanimate his frozen corpse is a murky and disturbing tale best left for another time. Sophie “the Divine Miss S” Slater is looking forward to a triumphant hometown gig. There have been many words used to describe the Divine Miss S, but I’ve checked with HR and apparently we can’t use any of them here. Please head over to our facebook page to find out more about the band: https://www.facebook.com/rungmpmusic?ref=hl
• The Scramblers
  NEST’s house band returns with its fourth name and its 14th, 15th, 16th and 17th members. Founding axemen Tim Jones and Will Sandbrook are starting to wonder if it's something they said. But they're relieved to find there are still some NEST employees left to press-gang into joining them on stage. Last year, the band reached the Pensions Rocks Hall of Fame with their take on girl-band bubblegum pop. This year they're breaking the mould by bringing you some actual rock songs. To celebrate this, the vocal line-up has dropped a few octaves, pairing Mathew Blakstad’s boisterous baritone with Rimjhim Gill’s mellifluous mezzo. And in a major break with tradition, the brand-new rhythm section of Armin Mayer (drums) and Martin Bennett (bass) adds an unexpected dose of musical competence to the line-up. What can stop their inexorable scramble for rock stardom? Other than a better band, of course.